So I was told cognitive therapy would help and to see a certified cognitive therapist, for possibly being a victum of a narcissist.
Last Friday I went to a Kurdish party for a celebration called nawruz. I got to see traditional Kurdish dancing, hear singing, and watch the dancers, some in their traditional cloths….want to post some pictures of what it looks like. The women wear very beautiful dresses. But another day.
Time for me to go to sleep so I can get up in the morning for work.
I got the job at the bottle recycling plant. I’ve been working there since January. It may close sometime because the parliment wants to withdraw a tax on the bottles that would otherwise be returned to the recycling plant. It may end up shutting down the whole bottle recycling industry here. Bottles can be used 7-8 times before they need to be broken according to an article I read. The glass smelling, to create new bottles out of pieces of broken glass bottles may also be shut down, if a carbon dioxide tax is in effect, so I heard. (All this if I understood it correctly.)
I went for a Reiki treatment last december. It seemed to help.
I was told I may have been a victum of a narcisist some time back.
So the world keeps turning. I feel a lost inside. I have conflicting thoughts.
Will Groves
Strike the Root
Consider these events:
1. A president who started two aggressive wars, who bears responsibility for the loss of thousands of American lives along with hundreds of thousands of Iraqi and Afghan lives, leaves office as a free man without a felony record or any negative repercussions.
2. Meanwhile, the same populace that has intimate experience with lying politicians appears utterly smitten with a smooth-talking new president promising change and demanding sacrifice.
3. The Congress, which had an approval rate of 14% and which just passed a $700 billion bailout over the objections of a majority of Americans, had a re-election rate exceeding 95%.
4. Untold millions of Americans voice support of military troops as these very people are needlessly killed, injured, and separated from their families and productive work at home.
5. A general populace believed that buying unproductive assets, like housing, could make them wealthy, forever, without any coherent explanation why.
6. Researchers who pursue alternative explanations for AIDS and cancer get their funding cut and have the results of their research squelched, while others who try to improve life by providing healthful foods find themselves under attack.
Overt criminality by leaders and passive, unclear thinking by the proles have become the norm. The two go together, creating a symbiotic ecosystem of tyranny. Fraud, theft, and murder have become widespread, just as the scale of lies told and believed have reached new heights. Irresponsibility has become socialized while people in the honest pursuit of good get thwarted.
Those of us who want little more than peace and freedom don’t run the world. Pursuing freedom contradicts controlling others, so we can reason that people who pursue power have some motivations separate from our own.
I have not fully comprehended the implications of this until recently. Despite all the evidence to the contrary, I had assumed that the people who wield power feel similarly about moral issues as I do - I just couldn’t see why they commit and justify unethical behavior. I already knew that states operate according to a code that the rest of us don’t follow in our own lives. Nevertheless, I assumed that a man who acts without regard to moral laws must feel guilty about it. Then, one day, I stumbled onto this idea: Suppose he doesn’t.
With only small ambitions, he probably behaves like a common criminal, a predator. He lies to gain advantage, uses force to get his way, and steals without conscience. Not feeling guilty about unethical behavior motivates him to instigate further criminal acts.
Small crime operations have one big problem, namely, the risk of getting caught. The prospect of prison appears unappealing, yet even with the high likelihood of arrest and capture during a career, common criminals approach their field with little sophistication and often pay the price. Other like-minded people see ways to avoid these problems. Just as normal people develop interests growing up and figure out how to pursue them at higher levels, a criminal mind can do the same. With greater intelligence and patience, he can pursue an ambitious career of criminality. With this objective in sight, one can easily see the state as the most expedient means to accomplish it.
Once a criminal joins forces with the state by becoming an employee, he can lie to his advantage, use force to get his way, and steal without conscience, just as the small-time operator does. The opportunities for mischief have no limits through thoughtful job selection. For example, if a man took pleasure in making innocent people squirm, he could become a police officer and plant evidence. For another, if he wanted to murder people, he could become a military officer and "accidentally" call in the coordinates of a house he’d like to see bombed. Whatever they do, the state shields them from the natural consequences of their actions. In all likelihood, if smart, they never get caught, never get punished, and probably get commended.
Too often, I have assumed that the people working for the state take the jobs only because of the easy hours and good pay, benefits, and retirement. For the predator, though, it offers all these things with the appetizing fringe benefit of satisfying their criminal urges without the risk of retribution.
It turns out this personality type has a scientific name: psychopathic. Lest you think I merely kid you, I quote from Scientific American:
This seems like a nearly perfect description of those who seek political power. That same article goes on to say that fields over-represented by psychopaths may include "politics, business and entertainment. Yet the scientific evidence for this intriguing conjecture is preliminary." It turns out that much stronger evidence for this exists than the article lets on.Superficially charming, psychopaths tend to make a good first impression on others and often strike observers as remarkably normal. Yet they are self-centered, dishonest and undependable, and at times they engage in irresponsible behavior for no apparent reason other than the sheer fun of it. Largely devoid of guilt, empathy and love, they have casual and callous interpersonal and romantic relationships. Psychopaths routinely offer excuses for their reckless and often outrageous actions, placing blame on others instead. They rarely learn from their mistakes or benefit from negative feedback, and they have difficulty inhibiting their impulses.
In the book Political Ponerology, Andrew Lobaczewski claims that about 6% of the people within a population have psychopathic characters. The implications of this, which he recognized soon after World War II, stagger the mind. Moreover, he suggests that another 12% of the population has high susceptibility to psychopathic thought. In a world dominated by hierarchical structures, these people sieze control of the key positions and create a so-called "pathocracy." Lobaczewski continues, writing in ways that clearly anticipate the current reality:
Within this [pathocratic] system, the common man is blamed for not having been born a psychopath, and is considered good for nothing except hard work, fighting and dying to protect a system of government he can neither sufficiently comprehend nor ever consider to be his own. An ever-strengthening network of psychopathic and related individuals gradually starts to dominate, overshadowing the others.Normal people have not considered the possibility that some people who seem ordinary could have no moral inhibitions. They default to believing that their leaders have good intentions. Employees of psychopaths thus carry out plans of their bosses blinded to the reality. No matter the scope of the "failure," the leadership can always point back to their stated good intentions and shield themselves from the gallows. In fact, the more harm they create, the stronger the call becomes to vest more power in their failed agency so they can "prevent" anything of the sort from ever happening again.
Their MO focuses on figuring out how much they can get away with, and we see no signs they have begun to approach the limits the public will accept. Irrespective of the ordeals they create, the vast majority of people give them the benefit of the doubt time and time again and continue in their support of the system. This belief among good people led to the democide of the 20th Century that continues unabated today.
After considering the possibility that psychopaths have taken control of society, we find volumes of evidence to support the hypothesis. Did Hitler, Stalin, Mao, and Pol Pot sympathize with their victims or have any sense of guilt? More recently, among Bush, Cheney, Rove, Rumsfeld, or Clinton , can we point to one who even exhibits a façade resembling normality? Obviously not - these lists name one person after another who has zero accountability to a rational morality. If people like this could make their way to the highest levels of power, what does that say about lower offices?
It suggests people like this have control over the levers of power everywhere. We live at a time when the population at large cannot achieve its wants, yet few seem to know why. As one example, polls consistently indicate that educational matters concern the public, yet decade after decade, schooling gets quantitatively worse. What a mystery! Evidently, if we believe our well-meaning masters, 2,000 years of Western civilization has not yet determined effective ways to transmit key knowledge to younger generations. However, what happens if we suspend our belief in their benevolence for a moment and consider other possibilities? If schools fail to achieve their stated goals over several decades, might some groups see this as a success?
Inhibiting critical thinking in the masses obviously benefits the state and psychopaths. When overtly self-serving, irresponsible, illegal, immoral, irrational behavior gets treated as normal, we can conclude that the educational system works quite well for our masters. I have given but one example, yet the multitude of state functions exists to provide every variety of psychopathic interest with a job. Moreover, we should consider that the state not only acts like a recruitment center for psychopaths, but that psychopaths probably invented the state to take advantage of the rest of us. I can give you no better explanation for the existence of an organization that fails in every ethical dimension and invokes psychopathic thinking at every turn than this.
Our battle for liberty appears not just as a conflict between those who want freedom versus those who want control, but instead as the battle between normal people and the psychopaths. I have found incredible explanatory power of our world within the psychopathic hypothesis: The world feels wrong because psychopaths run it. In a country trained to discount and ridicule all ideas more than a standard deviation from the average, coherent explanations of observable social phenomena don’t get much press. Without understanding physical laws, we would never have gained the massive improvements in our quality of life from technological developments. Similarly, without understanding our social systems, we will never escape from the tyranny unleashed on us by psychopaths. We should spread the word and explore this rich vein of thought with vigor.
(Also check out the economic analysis, and articles about the conflict in Gaza at sott.net)
Natacha Atlas with Juno Reactor-God is God
I got to chatted with my friend whom I haven’t chatted with in close to two years(I guess). She mentioned this music clip. It’s odd perhaps, strange movements and all.
Poor shoe thrower. I read that thousands were protesting his jailing in Iraq, now this.
 Muntadar al-Zaidi was wrestled to the ground and dragged away
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The brother of the Iraqi journalist who threw his shoes at US President George W Bush has said that the reporter has been beaten in custody.
Muntadar al-Zaidi has suffered a broken hand, broken ribs and internal bleeding, as well as an eye injury, his older brother, Dargham, told the BBC.
Mr Zaidi threw his shoes at Mr Bush at a news conference, calling him "a dog".
The head of Iraq’s journalists’ union told the BBC that officials told him Mr Zaidi was being treated well.
The union head, Mouyyad al-Lami, said he hoped to visit his colleague later.
An Iraqi official said Mr Zaidi had been handed over to the judicial authorities, according to the AFP news agency.
Earlier, Dargham al-Zaidi told the BBC’s Caroline Wyatt in Baghdad he believed his brother had been taken to a US military hospital in the Iraqi capital.
A second day of rallies in support of Mr Zaidi have been held across Iraq, calling for his release.
Meanwhile, offers to buy the shoes are being made around the Arab world, reports say.
Hero figure
Mr Zaidi told our correspondent that despite offers from many lawyers his brother has not been given access to a legal representative since being arrested by forces under the command of Mowaffaq al-Rubaie, Iraq’s national security adviser.
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 We hope the government and judiciary consider his release because he has a family and he is still young  Mouyyad al-Lami, Iraqi journalists’ union
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Iraqi lawyers have speculated that he could face charges of insulting a foreign leader and the Iraqi Prime Minister, Nouri Maliki, who was standing next to President Bush during the incident. The offence carries a maximum penalty of two years in jail.
Our correspondent says that the previously little-known journalist from the private Cairo-based al-Baghdadia TV has become a hero to many, not just in Iraq but across the Arab world, for what many saw as a fitting send-off for a deeply unpopular US president.
As he flung the shoes, Mr Zaidi shouted: "This is a goodbye kiss from the Iraqi people, dog."
Dargham al-Zaidi told the BBC that his brother deliberately bought Iraqi-made shoes, which were dark brown with laces. They were bought from a shop on al-Khyam street, a well-known shopping street in central Baghdad.
However, not everyone in Iraq has been supportive of the journalist’s action.
Speaking earlier in Baghdad, Mouyyad al-Lami described Mr Zaidi’s action as "strange and unprofessional", but urged Mr Maliki to show compassion.
"Even if he has made a mistake, the government and the judiciary are broad-minded and we hope they consider his release because he has a family and he is still young," he told the Associated Press news agency.
"We hope this case ends before going to court."
Abducted by insurgents
The shoes themselves are said to have attracted bids from around the Arab world.
According to unconfirmed newspaper reports, the former coach of the Iraqi national football team, Adnan Hamad, has offered $100,000 (£65,000) for the shoes, while a Saudi citizen has apparently offered $10m (£6.5m).
 Mr Zaidi said his actions were for Iraqi widows and orphans
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The charity called on the media to support Mr Zaidi and put pressure on the Iraqi government to free him.
Mr Zaidi, who lives in Baghdad, has worked for al-Baghdadia for three years.
Muzhir al-Khafaji, programming director for the channel, described him as a "proud Arab and an open-minded man".
He said that Mr Zaidi was a graduate of communications from Baghdad University.
"He has no ties with the former regime. His family was arrested under Saddam’s regime," he said.
Mr Zaidi has previously been abducted by insurgents and held twice for questioning by US forces in Iraq.
In November 2007 he was kidnapped by a gang on his way to work in central Baghdad and released three days later without a ransom.
He said at the time that the kidnappers had beaten him until he lost consciousness, and used his necktie to blindfold him.
Mr Zaidi never learned the identity of his kidnappers, who questioned him about his work before letting him go.
Shoes thrown at Bush on Iraq trip
Good for him. He deserves shoes thrown at him, rotten tomatoes and vegetables too. Well, maybe not violently thrown at him, no need to hurt somebody. And booed, booed away from the podium. If only he could be impeached as well as the Bush Administration, and all those responsible brought to justice.
I believe Americans should get out of Iraq. They have no business there. After all, there are other ways. They have caused more destruction there then ever and the toll of human life and suffering is high.
I passed my oral exam, which means I passed the language course. My friend also passed the oral exam with a top mark. I hope my other classmate also passed.
Let’s see if I can articulate my thoughts. Its strange how I think badly of the people that love me. I mean they are friends or relatives , so they ought to be in the category of those that "love" me, not unfriendly or enemies. I spend a lot of time going over what possible bad interpretations on things from my friends or those who I should be able to trust. That was one thought. And its odd that I would do that.
Another is, I can’t connect with my affective live fully. I am blocked inside or something, to fully emote is hard. It seems ages since I’ve last been able to do so. That’s a sad thing when I think about it because I’m missing out on a lot and because I think a person’s emotional life is so important for seeing reality as it is.
Another is, there seem to be situations in my relationships with people were I block up and am unwilling or unable to share more with them about something I consider sensitive and important to say. I don’t know if this relates to narcissism or that I have wounds that haven’t healed inside , and if talking about it would be like exposing a wound to somebody without knowing what the consequence would be. Its a shame because I am unable to grow and learn.
I hurt sometimes being unable to express myself and in times where I am alone, sometimes. It feels like there is nobody that can really hear what I feel/think/etc, that can really relate with me in a direct way- and that is the most lonely of all. But then I have a hard time feeling things and therefore connecting with the present moment and people. Perhaps the root of it is comes from me and my mental condition/psychological health. Perhaps I am diseased so to say.
I think back on the relationships that I’ve had that have failed to last. There’s maybe 10 or so where things just didn’t work out somehow. I don’t know why I think so much about failure. Well, I do because I was crushed by one relationship when I was young, which gets me to obsessively think in convoluted ways. So its hard sometimes, when I believe in something that doesn’t match reality or the facts that I doesn’t know, because there is constant uncertainty.
Well that sort of expresses some thoughts I wanted to say.(More then I intended because I went back up and put some more in)
I hope it works out for me in the future. I don’t know what the future holds. I have some ideas of what to do, but I mean I don’t know my destiny. I don’t know what this world is about or what it holds for humanity and its future. I’ve been reading a lot of negative stuff over the past few years about how the world is. I want to believe that the world is a good place(because its the only world I know), that people are good. I want to believe this because that’s how I want to see the world. That’s how I would want to live, in a place that is good with good people. I mean in an essential way. I want to believe in a future that doesn’t amount to annihilation by any and all possible means. I want to believe in a world where there is peace, and everybody has enough to go round, and not just on the brink of starvation, deprivation or etc.
Today I found out that I passed the written part of the exam. I got to practice my subject again today and listen to the others presentations. My friend’s was interesting and I asked her if I could have a copy of it to read. Both were interesting presentations. Then we got to talk about pictures. I didn’t get to talk but on Monday it’ll be my turn. The others seem to know a lot about what to say. I wouldn’t have thought of the many details to say, as they did.
My friend’s birthday is coming up on Monday. I don’t know what to get her as a present. I’ll write her an e-mail wishing her a happy birthday.
I went looking for some stuff at the shops. I got earplugs, safety goggles and a tape measure. Am I conducting an experiment with something potentially explosive? No. I got the earplugs and safety goggles for work, and the tape measure to measure the length of the windows in my apartment so that I know what size curtains I need to get. I wanted to buy an alarm clock but I didn’t immediately see one I liked. I may get a fancy digital clock that has a layer of glass as a display screen. I looked at some work cloths too, but I’ll hold off on getting some of those.
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